Lesson #1: Why can't I start cooking?

Among people who would like to cook without succeeding, some explain being in a form of “failure” in the face of this daily activity, mundane for some, boring for others, but motivating for those who are passionate about it. How can we overcome this state of non-motivation when it comes to cooking? Where does this come from? What are the keys to getting started without difficulty? And above all, find pleasure in this activity.

Finding your “why” in cooking

As in every field, whether it is sport, music, or cooking, you have to start by finding your “why”. Why do I want to start cooking? And continue the discussion with yourself in the most naive way possible.

For example :

Why do I want to cook? To eat better.
Why do I want to eat better? To feel good in my body.
Why do I want to feel good about my body? If I feel good in my body, I will feel better in my head.
Why do I want to feel good about myself? If I feel good mentally, I will be more open to others and social relationships.

Or :

Why do I want to cook? To learn how to eat better.
Why do I want to eat better? To lose weight.
Why do I want to lose weight? To get rid of certain suffering.
Why do I want to let go of certain suffering? To feel better in my head. Etc.

Finding your “why” in cooking can ultimately reveal fundamental elements of our mental schema, which it is essential to be aware of if we want to implement something new: whether it is to retrain, run a marathon, or start cooking.

The “why” is what will allow us to connect with our deep motivation, and to fully embody our values, that is to say what drives us. It is thanks to him that we will be able to maintain discipline, even on days when we feel less inclined. The “why” gives us consistency, confidence, and stability in what we want to accomplish because it allows us to connect an action to a much broader vision for ourselves and what we want for our life.

Even when they are little, children tend to ask us “But why?” “. Why are you doing this ? Why is it like that? And if we're pressed, we tend to respond “because that's just the way it is.” » Yet it is relevant to dwell on this powerful question, so widespread, and yet often overlooked.

The value system

We all have something called a value system in our subconscious. This value system is subjective, different from one person to another, and it can evolve over the course of our lives.
Values ​​are things that are important to us, concepts that we unconsciously try to follow because it is by embodying them on a daily basis that we feel aligned and in our place. For some, it will be freedom, family, love; for others, knowledge, discovery, creativity; or even honesty, pleasure, success…

Knowing that being subjective, everyone has their own definition of this value. For example, for some, success will be defined by professional success (in terms of money, success, recognition) while for others it will translate in terms of personal accomplishment (happiness, being fulfilled in their relationship, have children…).

An interesting exercise to get to know yourself better is that of the scale of values.

You can look online at “list of values” if you’re not inspired, and see which ones resonate most with you. Choose 5 to 7. You can also segment them into areas of life: work and personal life for example.

The order of importance

Once you have your list, sort them in order of importance: which is the most important of all? Secondly ? In third place ? Etc. Then, take stock of the situation: do certain values ​​surprise you? Are you surprised by the order in which you organized them?
If you have segmented into professional and personal domains, it is interesting to see which ones could conflict.

For example, if in the personal domain, you have a strong value of “freedom”, but in the work you have noted “structure”, “assiduity”, or even “discipline”, this can, depending on your definition and the beliefs which are connected to it, create friction. Some people may in fact say that being disciplined or having structure goes against their definition of freedom, that they relate more to flexibility, fluidity, the absence of framework!

Finally, it is important to ask yourself: “How much, from 0 to 10, do I consider myself to embody this value on a daily basis? » If you are close to 10, that's great! Conversely, if you realize that there is a big gap between your values ​​and your reality, it is time to correct the situation and ask yourself how and what actions you can put in place in order to be able to fully embody this value in your life.

Values ​​are a crucial part of what constitutes the foundation of our identity: they teach us to know ourselves better, and to take actions that are in alignment with what nourishes us.
So, to return to cooking, you can ask yourself what value(s) will be nourished by (re)starting cooking.

Then, you can use the five “why” exercise popularized by Simon Sinek in his book “Start with Why”, stated above. To do this, start from your goal: to (re)start cooking. Then ask yourself, “Why is this important to me?” » five times, repeating the answers that emerged previously.

Link actions to needs

The power of this exercise is that it allows you to connect an action or objective to a much deeper, and sometimes even unconscious, need. By broadening our perspective beyond our goal, and therefore expanding our field of consciousness, we realize that although our goal is important to us, what it feeds is a much greater need.

Moreover, we want to accomplish an action or an objective not for what it is, but for what it will allow us to feel. We don't cook for the sake of cooking, we cook because it allows us to relax, have fun, be creative, or even unwind. We don't want to run a marathon for the sake of running a marathon, we want the recognition that it can bring, or the fact of proving to ourselves that we can do it, we like the idea of ​​surpassing ourselves physically…

So, to summarize:

  • Start from your goal and identify your values
  • Think about your “why”
  • Become aware of the emotional state you want to achieve (joy, calm, accomplishment, pride, etc.)

Discover the complete file
Episode 2. It's decided, I'm starting to cook: The reasons for motivation
Episode 3. It's decided, I'm starting to cook: Boredom and the power of transformational language
Episode 4. It's decided, I'm starting to cook: Failure and learning by level


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